Tuesday 2 February 2016

How I Embarrassed Myself In Front Of My Inlaws. "must laugh" - Jokes

it was 8.30 a.m in the morning and i was still sleeping, was it due to the party i attended last night or the ogogoro i drank in mama bukky's joint? i guess no cos i am found of sleeping. Deep inside my sleep i had a heavy knock on my door, it was mama's voice, "òle omo alapamasise" (lazy boy with hands but cant work), look at the time you are still sleeping when your mates are out there making money. (my mother shouted! At the door entrance to my room.) her voice woke me up in anger and i had no choice than to stand because she will not stop knocking until she sees me outside. i finally stood up and went strainght to the sitting room, good morning ma! i uttered in a boned face, my mum just hissed and walked out of the sitting room. who cares? i quickly rushed to the kitchen to serve my hungry stomach but no food in the kitchen except from the remains of beans left over last night, i had no choice than to eat it.hmmmm beans again? you this boy, i said to myself, yes! I dont like beans because i am not always confortable anytime i eat beans, but what else will i eat? nothing. After eating the little beans, i am not yet satisfied cos little food no dey reach me. oh God!!! why this woman no cook? i asked myself in anger. then something quickly came to my mind, Bola! yes Bola my old time girlfriend, there is no day i visit her that she wont feed
me to my satisfaction. so i made up my mind to visit her, i quickly send her "pls call me" from my phone. cant u call her? a voice asked me, call wetin? when i dont have a kobo in my pocket talkless of credit to flash or call, mitcheww!!! silly MTN, when will they
start giving free calls during the day? "awon oloshi" when will dis "mumu girl" saying (your account balance is too low for this call) die so we can start making free calls?, abegi! na dem sabi jare.


After two minute, Bola called me and i told her i will be visiting her this morning and she told me she is expecting me. early monday morning, you dey go woman house, you dis guy know dey shame. But wetin man pikin go do as i no get job nko? i have graduated since two years back with a second upper in accounting but all my effort to get a job is fruitless 'no be Nigeria'? if you dont have link with top people in office you cant get a job, what a Nation.


After thinking about my jobless life for a while, i quickly rushed to the bathroom to clean up and get ready to Bola's house. its now 9.35a.m and i am ready to go, chai!!! i will have to treck down to bola's house
again? Na wa ooooo. as i was walking down to bola's house, i started feeling little pain in my stomach. not again! the beans has started mixing with my intestine, i know the result of my taking beans but i had no choice.

Finally i arrived her house and with immediate effect she served me moi moi and pap(ogi) huh! beans again? no prob. after eating she asked me to join her family in the parlour to watch movie since her family are rich and they go to work anytime they wish. so i did. her father, mother, two sisters and two visitors were in the sitting room together with me and Bola. this time around the beans i ate at home and the moi moi bola gave me started mixing with full speed in my stomach, i knew where the result is going but i lock up and bone my face like a frustrated jobless folk I was.

After few minutes, Bola dad polluted loudly dat everybody heard the sound and knew the direction it came from but we all pretented that we heard nothing since he is the head of the family. wow! this is an opportunity for me to drop my atomic bomb boiling and mixing in my stomach o, so i dropped the first batch "fiiieeee fiiieee" oh! Oluwa
seun (thank God) na silent one. after few seconds the
sitting room started smelling dead rat and spoilt eggs, the air fresher that was hanged around the sitting room cant take the smell, dey all fell down on the floor. in another seconds another droped from my ass "fuuuuuuuu" the smell started again i notice that the fish in the aquarium had stop swimming and the colour of the paint in the sitting room started changing colour, Bola:- daddyyyyy! bola's dad :- emi ko oooo(no be me o) (staring at bola's Mum) that was when we noticed Bola's mum has fainted! ehn! she was sitting next to me but i didnt notice, the sound of the falling fishes from the aquarium woke her up, and yes! dis time around the fishes were all dead and the glass has broken too, i quickly told Bola that i am going and she nodded in agreement. o boy see speed.
tommorow is another day!!!

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