This is a very sensitive and twisted issue that needs to be approached cautiously and intelligently.
I
have read in many places where people have expressed contrary views on
this all time important issue. I have seen where a lady have asked if
she can move in with her husband after traditional wedding?,i have seen a
case where a lady insists that until a man does the white or church
wedding,they are not considered married before GOD.
I have even
heard many people stating emphatically that as long as a lady's bride
price have not been paid then the lady is not considered married to the
man and so many other discrepancies too numerous to highlight.`
Now
the big question is what exactly is the module for a wedding ceremony
and what ceremony really is ordained by GOD? When can GOD acknowledge a
man and woman as married?is there any part of the Quran or Bible that
stipulates a direct guideline of how a marriage ceremony must be
conducted to be legitimate in GOD's eyes?
I will quickly answer this from the Quran and Biblical angles.
1.From the Quran:Prophet
Muhammad (S) considered simple weddings the best weddings:'The best
wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense is bestowed".
(Mishkat)
The Quran wedding ceremony module is simply hinged on Mutual Agreement of Bride and Groom called Nikah.
Marriage
(nikah) is a solemn and sacred social contract between bride and groom.
This contract is a strong covenant (mithaqun ghalithun) as expressed in
Quran 4:21. The marriage contract in Islam is not a sacrament. It is
revocable.
Both parties mutually agree and enter into this
contract. Both bride and groom have the liberty to define various terms
and conditions of their liking and make them a part of this contract.
2.From the Bible:I
am very sorry to disappoint those who live by "my pastor said" or "my
parents say" to empty their heads of every man made philosophy and get
this straight...there
is no place in the bible where white wedding,traditional wedding or
even court-wedding was ever mentioned and infact there was never a place
in the bible that gave any preferred wedding ceremony and
the issue of bride price was never mentioned as a yardstick for
marriage but a punishment for rape and infact you can pay the bride
price and still not allowed to marry the lady because you only paid a
fine for rape-exodus 22:16-17:
It is quite absurd that today,many
people have the erroneous belief that until all the three forms of
wedding is done then GOD has not ordained such and while some say until a
church wedding is conducted,GOD will not bless their wedding and i just
look at the myopic mindset of these ignorant people and wonder where on
earth they got that wrong doctrine from.
There is one
scripture that sums up the steps to follow in any form of wedding
ceremony you desire to have and that be found in Genesis 2:24: Therefore
a man shall leave his father and his mother and join to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
A.The first step is for the man to make up his mind to leave his parents to be with a woman and start a family together.
B.A couple can be considered joined when
they are legally married. The scriptural support typically given for
this view is the biblical command to obey the government’s laws (Romans
13:1–7; 1 Peter 2:17). A couple can also be considered joined together
in God’s eyes when they have completed some kind of formal wedding
ceremony whether in the church or culturally.
C.The third and final stage is becoming one flesh
which occurs when sexual act occurs and this is why many people are
warned against indiscriminate sexual acts as any sexual act is actually
fulfilling the third stage of marital union and many people have
actually been married to so many people in their life time.
So
whether you decide to have just one of the 3 mode of celebration or you
want to do Religious,traditional and court,you are very free.But
it is important to note that in GOD's eyes the only thing he recognizes
as directed by him is for a man to leave his parents,be joined to his
wife and lastly become one with her and which ever way both of you
decide to go about the ceremony as long as its not against his ordinances,its perfectly ok.
I hope this makes sense.
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